"Ya, I wore out that Muppet movies album on vinyl."

"It's like Christmas in a cup. Help yourself."

"So all of your research was done through like books and stuff?"

"I have Cinnamon Toast Crunch stuck in my throat. Aaaak!"

It's a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation but also promotes healing ... That sounds like something I could get into!

"'Cause apparently they don't allow rifles in assisted living homes."

"Oh My God. You got to stop giving it away."

"Can't Queen Latifa fans relate to Dolly Parton?"

"I think I'm still drunk." "I don't doubt that." "Correction. I am still drunk."

"I feel like I smell."

"Wow! Look at those berries!"

"My Butt Tickled. See, I told you not every reason why I laugh is worth knowing about!"

"I really hate the smell of weiner water!"

"I'm very orally aware."

"Happy Anniversary! Bend Over!"

"Marie Calendar. It's like 'Hungry Man' for women."

"Chocolate, Chocolate. That's going right in my face hole!"

"um ... Lindsay. Yeah, it's 'L' like in Lindsay, 'I' like in..."

"Even my cow has dust bunnies!"

"I put it all in your box."

"Don't take an email while you're driving." "I'm not. I'm texting."

"Oh yes, Bob's become quite crotch focused recently"

"She's like my Canadian BFF. We've never met in person, but on the phone she's nice."

"Do you just eat them raw?" "No, I dip them in ranch dressing."

"They are kinda big and bushy aren't they."

"I wish there was a way for me to carry my knife to the kitchen without anyone thinking it's weird."

"Are you flipping me off? You look like your doing the 'come hither' with your middle finger."

The Desk Lamp Graveyard.

"I wrenched my neck this morning." "How'd you do it?" "Putting my jeans on."

"What the f*ck are you listening to?!!"

"Where do you screw that into?"

"I'm almost up to my second lunch" "Are you a Hobbit?"

"I ate so much I couldn't dance. And let me tell you, that NEVER happens to me!"

"Ooooo! Man am I glad I bent over!"

"Apparently Facebook does not recognize me as Christ."

"If you don't do it, I have access to go in through the back end and make it happen."

"Music like that is ok. I prefer music without words, that's why I listen to instrumental hip-hop"

"You guys! This is the first day of the rest of our lives!"

"Ya, I get to work from home two days a week. Sadly, they are Saturday and Sunday."

"Tyler! Your junk is all over the carpet!"

"Oh Oh! I should run Brickman's crotch down there!"

"It's like the Green Bay Packers came and threw up all over the office!"

"Try and stall the FedEx Guy! Tell him a joke!"

Question Wall in the Strategy Dept.

Advertising Agency Toiletries

"Does anyone else smell sausages?"